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| Merry-Go-Round If you want the best, wanna be with the blessed Come on and ride on my merry-go-round You've wasted your money on all of the rest Come on and ride on my merry-go-round It doesn't go faster It isn't that safe If there's a problem There'll be no escape Half of the horses are stuck on with tape Ride on my merry-go-round You're ridden the stairs and you're bored of the fair Come on and ride on my merry-go-round You're looking for something they can't give you there Come on and ride on my merry-go-round You've read all the papers You know what they said But no-one who knows Will look elsewhere instead Cos the real excitement is all in your head When you ride on my merry-go-round The taller the story, the bigger the dream The smaller the ghost train, the sadder the scream Just look at the faces Of those who have been Their smiles are bigger Than you've ever seen Cos I am the man and you'll know what I mean When you ride on my merry-go-round I am the man and you'll know what I mean When you ride on my merry-go-round The Governess I am in love with the governess She's played by a beautiful actress Who looks so good in period dress On Sundays on TV She cares for the child of a titled squire Who can't control his base desires He'll beat his slaves when he retires Out in the colonies And it's not going to get any better No it's not going to get any better And it's just like Masterpiece Theatre Since I met her, since I met the governess She doesn't know who her parents are But her father had a duelling scar She takes the child down to the spa They sit there are alone They say her parents died at sea Perhaps she comes from royalty I hope she's not related to me When the truth is finally known And it's not going to get any better No it's not going to get any better And it's just like Masterpiece Theatre Since I met her, since I met the governess Do I love her? Course I do She has much better lines than you Do I need her? Read the script She finds my note in her pillowslip I offer my companionship The scoundrel will never set her free Til her ward is married to some Marquis Says he'll take his whip to me If I don't stay away from her The squire is played by Martin Sheen But it's my cameo that steals the scene As she gets dressed behind the screen And We elope to America And it's not gonna to get any better No it's gonna get any better Til it's just like masterpiece theatre Til I get her, til I get the governess The Common Kiss I was feeling down, beneath a frown Just like a plane that can't get off the ground I couldn't face the climb I was all alone until you phoned How did you know that I was sitting home? Sometimes I wonder bout your timing We went out drinking And before I started thinking much too hard You played your wild card..... You were sitting there, you had the chair There was a little heaven in the air Your hair was like a halo Then you leaned so close and I supposed You wanted to whisper something so I froze Held my breath upon your say so I closed my eyes And suddenly I realised Right on time, the moment that your mouth touched mine... I Caught The Common Kiss The one that's going round Caught the Common Kiss Now it's all over town I'll pass it on to someone else but only when it's time to Cos I caught the common kiss from you Now I'm not the same, I have no shame Just like a starlet who's in search of fame I'd do anything I'll stay in bed, forget the bread I'll ring up work and I'll sound like I'm dead I've lost my head, remembering I closed my eyes And suddenly I realised Who was boss, when your mouth was right where mine was.... I Caught The Common Kiss The one that's going round Caught the Common Kiss Now it's all over town I'll pass it on to someone else but opnly when it's time to Cos I caught the common kiss from you Dreamfader "The less said the better" is what you told me Then you talked for half an hour When all I want is just you hold me I had never felt so sour You've got your finger on my dreamfader Don't pull me down I'll sleep in the doghouse if you let me I'll only come when I am called When all I want is just you pet me Wanna watch my fleas jump round your hall You've got your finger on my dreamfader Don't pull me down, don't pull me down Dreamfader - don't pull me down Don't pull me down I'll hide down here if you don't mind me Down at the dark end of the bed When all I want is that you find me Pull me closer to your head Please take your finger off my dreamfader Don't pull me down, don't pull me down Dreamfader - don't pull me down Don't pull me down Darwin The tourists get into their car And drive through the safari park There's animals you've only seen in books And despite the helpful warnings (You could read them in the dark) They decide to try and get a closer look And they park the car and lock it cos you're better safe than sorry And they try to make the lions look their way And in a perfect Kodak moment, they're hunting for their car keys As the lions come bid them all good day And they say: Haven't you ever heard of Darwin? Did you think we were going to run and hide? Haven't you ever heard of Darwin? Don't roll down your car windows It's a jungle outside There's white tigers in Las Vegas Who deign to show their teeth Sip tea from china to polite applause And they're weighing up the gamblers They're masters or they're meat Provided they stay arm's length from the paws And it's very nearly showtime, the magicians warm up backstage And the sound effects so loud that no-one hears As one tiger turns to the other and says: "you wanna see some magic? Tonight it's the magicians disappear!" And the tigers say: Haven't they ever heard of Darwin? Did they think we'd vanish in thin air? Haven't they ever heard of Darwin? Don't roll down your car windows It's a jungle out there Further down the food chain Closer to the ground Scurry all the scavengers at home You can tidy up the kitchen And wash all of the plates But there's always meat left somewhere on the bone And all our tiny flatmates are waiting to inherit The legacy we'll leave behind one night They feed their little habit and wait with perfect patience til There's no-one left to turn on all the lights And they'll sing: Hadn't they ever heard of Darwin? Now we don't have to run and hide Hadn't they ever heard of Darwin? Open up the windows, It's a jungle inside Love's Reign Of Terror Love's reign of terror is over With only a wave and a kiss After so many years of resistance It finally came down to this It took us too long to realise The evils performed in its name Love's reign of terror is over That monster is finally slain Love's reign of terror is over Common sense finally won St.Valentine's army defeated With not even one shot from a gun Cupid's infinite archers Finally gave up the fight Love's reign of terror is over Sleep like a baby tonight This one's for you, there's been a crash There's been a coup, there's been a fatal error And it's the end of love's reign of terror It wasn't all kisses and candy The truth will emerge at the trials Where did you think were the heartless When everyone walked down the aisle? Their methods were charmingly touching So, being polite, we agreed It all seemed so quaint and so harmless We didn't expect they'd succeed The torture was so sentimental Tasteful, romantic and sweet Done in the darkest of dungeons Performed by the pert and petite They kissed me and whispered 'I love you' As they stripped all the gums from my teeth Goodbye to the heart's reign of terror Revenge will soon follow relief Chorus So beware all you useless romantics Who flourished throughout this regime Profiteers also, be watchful, Who sold them impractical dreams It's so many years since they shouted 'Death to the Tyrant, The Head!' 'The old heart is dead' shout the headlines 'Long live the new heart instead' This one's for you, there's been a crash There's been a coup, there's been a fatal error And it's the end of love's reign of terror This one's for you, you disappear Right on cue - Goodbye to you, dear Sarah It's the end of love's reign of terror Meet The Sheep If you'd like to, I can take you back to meet the sheep We can set them free out in the fields and go to sleep We can watch them all amuse themselves Delightfully abuse themselves Then when they want back in the pen, they'll start to bleat If you want to I can take you back to meet the sheep If you'd like to, I can take you back to pet the lambs The uncorrupted offspring of the ewes and rams They haven't had to compromise Like all the piglets in their sties The lambs can go to heaven but the pigs are damned If you'd like to I can take you back to meet the lambs They like hanging out in herds They're happy in the pen Anything they've done one time, they'll do again They'll do again They'll do again If you'd like to, I can take you back to sheer the sheep The profits are enormous and the labour cheap They don't get angry in the least They don't know when they're being fleeced They're happy when they do not have to think too deep If you'd like to I can take you back to meet the sheep They like hanging out in herds They're happy in the fold Their memories are very short, their jokes are old Their jokes are old Their jokes are old If you'd like to I can take you back to count the sheep We'll pull the wool over their eyes then go to sleep For An Actress There's a lot of you about at the moment Is there anything that you will not endorse? Every time I see your face before me It reminds me that we once had intercourse And I can see the single bed where we lay tangled Our hands, our limbs, our bodies intertwined I still have the book that you once gave me It's a shame perhaps that I never got it signed My mother always calls when you're on TV Yes, and this was charming long ago Back when we would pull off of the highway Just to hear you on the radio And I recall the last time that I saw you We were going to lead such different lives Yes, and it was me who sent you packing For the woman who til lately was my wife And I loved you in the remake of Rear Window A film we saw in 1983 Then it was James Stewart and Grace Kelly Now it's me and you on my TV So thank me when you're holding up the oscar I'll never sell your story to the press Though sometimes when I'm feeling broke and hopeless I'm tempted by the money, I'll confess And I wish you very well in your career Just as I wished you very well in bed And if you ever need some soundtrack music I write that shit standing on my head And I loved you in the remake of Rear Window A film we saw in 1983 Then it was James Stewart and Grace Kelly Now it's me and you on my TV Don't Rain On Me Today The sun is shining The sky is blue I've got my hands full Loving you The clouds are gone now, given up and moved away Hey, hey, don't rain on me today You've seen me smiling Seen me frown Watched me swimming Watched me drown Sometimes the sun shines Suddenly it's grey Hey hey don't rain on me today Is that the wrong side Of the bed? We should have stayed there Instead Your wish is my command Yes I will obey Hey hey don't rain on me today The sun is shining On the sea You got your hands full Loving me While it's beautiful Kiss me once and say Hey hey don't rain on me today Thank You, You're Welcome I used to laugh at your jokes, it wasn't hard to smile We started going out and we went out in style And now it's all exploded, I feel a weight removed The chips lift off my shoulder, my life has improved And I like it Now I don't see you anymore Just a glimpse of you behind a closing door And I don't hear you anymore Just a little voice that's easy to ignore And I'm feeling so much better now Now we're out of touch And I'm feeling so much better now Thank you, You're welcome! So let's just keep our distance, don't ring, don't write or call Forget my whole existence, I don't mind at all And I won't come and spook you, I'm no revengeful ghost Back when we said we were happy was when we scared me the most God help us! Now I don't see you anymore Just a glimpse of you behind a closing door And I don't miss you anymore Now I realise that it isn't either/or And I'm feeling so much better now Now we're out of touch And I'm feeling so much better now Thank you, You're welcome! Now I don't see you anymore Just a glimpse of you behind a closing door And I don't want you anymore Just a memory of someone I adored And I'm feeling so much better now Now we're out of touch And I'm feeling so much better now Thankyou, You're welcome! The Fall Of The House Of Harding I was burdened by the hopes of an ailing failing family It fell to me to marry to preserve the family fame Mother's stupid snobbery, my father's desperate gambling Combined to lose the deeds to all we owned except our name And so mother brings me heiresses, the weak-chinned and the widowed The simpering and whimpering, they queue to be my wife And I treat them all with diffidence, even feign an interest But I regret I didn't save my elder brother's life It's goodbye... May the family hall fall into ruins all around us Collapse onto my mother and her evil little schemes She'd be better dead than living, if her ghost was not forgiving She could haunt the stone forever and destroy all of our dreams Cos they sold my little sister into some strange form of slavery She's living somewhere far away with someone that she hates But I know she must be smiling cos that whore escaped this hellhole, And the one revenge I have occurs the moment it's too late When I die.... You'd think I might be pining for some paupered little country girl My folks won't let me marry cos she doesn't have a sous Then maybe she'd inherit some unexpected legacy That's just reserved for novels, need not worry me and you Cos there's no-one in this world for me will ever make me happy My attentions don't lie elsewhere, well, they don't even exist And the truth is I could marry any pampered little socialite But the family's on the edge, they're looking down at the abyss So goodbye to all my creditors, Au revoir, you heiresses, Adios, my doctors And adieu to all of you Bad news for you, my family Bad news for you all Our house is all in ruins now I will be our fall And this is how it seems to me: must I prolong the agony? We're weak-willed and we're spineless and we don't know why we're here Our name'd be better on a tomb so leave me with my opium I haven't even got the strength to muster any fear So Goodbye.... World Of Light They were falling around in the darkness Playing football when the floodlights failed In the park And they didn't stop Though they couldn't see And they laughed and fell And skinned their knees But they were not going to go without a fight Now they are all gone Now they are all gone Now they are all gone Into a world of light They were fooling around in the darkness Right outside their hotel room A black dog barked And when they were done They closed their eyes And when they awoke To their surprise The bathroom shone and turned the whole room white Now they are all gone Now they are all gone Now they are all gone Into a world of light Oh and it's so black in here And all I see is shadows of you now I was trying to write in the darkness But the page had turned The colour of the ink And inside the van The driver and me Were the only ones Who weren't asleep And a towncar overtook us on the right Now we are all gone Now we are all gone Now we are all gone Into a world of light These lyrics are copyright controlled and cannot be reproduced in any form without permission. Words and Music by John Wesley Harding, Copyright 2002 Plangent Visions Music Ltd (ASCAP) |
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